Ryker James Searle

Warning-bodily talk goin' down in this. If blood, guts and gore gross you out, leave :)

I have the best intentions to write out a whole long blog post with every minor detail of the labor and delivery and the days following and post all these pictures...but guys---I'm exhausted. I was exhausted before I had him and even more now that he's here. I have so many emotions running through me and I'm so enthralled with this little guy that I have a hard time even justifying taking the time to do it. I do it to remember.....and so I don't have to repeat the story 500 billion times!  ;)

Feb. 11, 2013-
4:00 AM- Woke up when Randy's alarm went off for him to go to work. I went to the bathroom and there was blood on the TP. I kind of freaked out thinking there was maybe something wrong with the baby and called my mom asking her if I should go to the hospital or if I should just wait until our appointment later that night. We concluded that I was just losing the mucus plug and not to go in and wait for my appointment. WHAT A LONG DAY!! I swear the appointment was taking forever to get here! 

12:00 PM- So I just hung out all day and after thinking about it, I wanted to go take some pictures of my belly and to document how big I was--knowing that in a couple days, it would be gone. So we went out and got like 1 or 2 good ones. I had been starting to get painful contractions that day too, but nothing gut wrenching. 

5:20 PM- We got to the appointment and the doctor listened to Ryker's heartbeat and checked my cervix. I was dilated to a 3+, almost 4. And I noticed he was unusually rough this time (come to find out later, he stripped my membranes). Then he says something along the lines of, "Want to have this baby tomorrow??" I was pretty much in shock. I had told myself the whole pregnancy that I didn't want to be induced and to let him come on his own, but with this choice now in front of me, I didn't know what to say! I was nervous about the delivery because the stupid ultrasound tech said that Ryker's head was big and that he would be a 9 lb. baby. And with the possibility of seeing my son the next day??? I said, "Let's do this." So we scheduled the induction and I was to call in the morning to see when to come in ( they had a couple inductions ahead of me so they didn't know if rooms and such would be available). I called my mom to let her know that tomorrow would be the day so she could come and be there for the delivery. She made it here super fast :)  So being excited at how dilated I had become and how painful the contractions became, knowing that I was having a baby regardless but still wanting him to come by himself, we decided to go to the mall and walk around. We did like 6 laps and I was exhausted (bad idea....)

9:00 PM- Getting home from the mall and starting to labor more, I had to hurry and clean the house. It was the weirdest thing...that cleaning and running around, making sure bags were packed...you'd think all I'd want to do is sleep! Not the case--because sleep never happened. I was starting to contract more and more, walking, rocking on an exercise ball, etc. The pain was so intense. I was breathing through it and quite honestly, handling it like a champ, but I would never be able to describe the pain...you'll know when you're in labor!  :) So my contractions had become consistent enough that we probably could have gone to the hospital-we even debated it-but then they would spread out again. I had gotten sick, just throwing up and shaking and it was the worst feeling ever.

Feb. 12, 2013
9:00 AM- The hospital calls us and the nurse on the line says, "When can you come?" "Anytime really." "Can you come in a half an hour??"


So we head off to the hospital.

When I get there, I'm at a 4 and the nurses start me on Pitocin. My doctor also came in and broke my water. And honestly, the worst part of the prepping was the IV. It's big and gross and painful the whole time. I was scared to move my hand the entire time. I had started shaking and was totally exhausted so they told me to take a nap. Ya right. My mom would watch the contractions and say, "here it comes!" "Ya.....I can feel it." It was nice though because she could tell me that it was tapering off before I would know and it helped to know there was light at the end of the tunnel.

11:00 AM-The contractions got painful enough that I finally asked for an epidural. It was heaven. NO PAIN! It was the weirdest feeling too. Just so limpy gimpy. Basically like I had slept on my arm and it goes numb and tingles, but all over my body. More waiting. Randy's parents show up---poor people...just sitting around waiting. I was absolutely starving only having had a bowl of rice crispies that morning. My mom would give me peanut mm's and I eventually threw those up. My father-in-law gave me some cheetos....ya those came up too. Just don't eat during labor :)

Time at this point basically rolls into one until I have Ryker.

After a good couple of naps with the epidural, I was starting to feel my contractions again. I started pressing the button that administered more meds, but it wasn't working. The nurse put me on oxygen because my blood pressure kept crashing and I would get woozy. I felt dumb, like maybe I was supposed to be feeling them, but I told the nurse I was hurting and after a couple reminders, she called the anesthesiologist to have him come look at it. When he came in to look, he says something like, "That's not good" or "Uh-oh." But I was really so exhausted and chill at this point that it didn't even phase me---nothing really did. I don't know if it was because I didn't really know what to expect or if I was just so tired. Apparently, the epidural had "migrated" into a blood vessel. That's not supposed to happen and that's why I was starting to feel it again. So we kicked everyone out and he tells me he's going to give me a new epidural. Go for it. Seriously guys, the epidural isn't bad at all. So he got the epidural in again and told me he was going to give me a good dose. At this point, I was at like a 7 and kind of frustrated because I was getting closer and didn't want to be super dosed up when I would be pushing. But I was able to get another good nap in. When I woke up, my mom asked me if my oxygen mask was blowing into my eye because it was all blood shot. After further evaluation from Randy, my eye was constricted and not dilating to light and was also almost swollen shut. So my mom called in the nurses and they checked me out. After some further prodding, we also realized that I was numb from the top of my breasts and down.  Then they called in the anesthesiologist in and he was like, "I gave you a pretty good dose, but I'm going to turn this off for 30 minutes and let it wear off." They propped me up so that the gravity would work it down. I was fully dilated at this point and they told me to "rest and descend", letting me rest a little bit and letting Ryker move down.  After about 30 minutes, I started pushing--which is super hard while being numb...but the epidural wore off enough by the time it was crucial that it was nice to be able to feel when to push. I pushed for an hour before they called in the doctor and started getting everything ready. Pushing really wasn't that bad...just got old after awhile. :)

Randy had his GoPro camera strapped on so it was cool to be able to go back and watch from the outside. My mom had the camera going and was getting it all.

Ryker came out at 7:49 PM. He was 8 lbs. 5 oz. and 20.5 inches long. His cord was wrapped once around his neck, but didn't effect him.  He was purple but I guess that's normal! He also wasn't crying and that freaked me out. He was so chill. Still is! But he sure hated his bath!! He was a wailing--but he's a big faker :) The doctor was taking a while sewing me back up, probably a good hour. Apparently, I had a hematoma (meaning I had a swollen vessel). The doctor ruptured it so that it didn't bleed out later. So he had to sew in and out of me. I was so out of it exhausted that the whole labor and delivery seemed so easy and nice.  I would honestly do it again in a heartbeat.

Post-partum healing is rough. You're so sore and swollen that you can barely move and get up to go potty and what not. That first hot shower afterwards was amazing.  I'm now feeling really well! I just feel like conquering the world.  There are some downsides though and I wont lie--I think it's better to know before hand. I miss pregnancy. I miss the belly, I miss the glow, I miss the kicks inside of me. It's so weird-like a grieving process. I'm glad I knew what to expect (like the rollercoaster of hormones and the dreaded after labor poop!)--but nothing really can prepare you for it. It's been quite the emotional ride. Add that to sleep deprivation and you got a real doozy.

 You are just thrown into this role as mother and caretaker and nothing can get you ready for that. No parenting class, no breastfeeding class--nothing. Just learn as you go and that's what I'm learning. It's ok that he cries. It's ok that he doesn't burp after every feeding. It's ok that he screams when you change his diaper. It's ok. I wouldn't change it for the world. Ryker is so amazing and I love him more than words will ever explain.

Randy is such a good daddy. I love overhearing him talk to Ryker and to see him cuddle. He loves snuggling with him while he does his homework.

I also could not do this without my momma. She is SO amazing. Words cannot explain how much I appreciate everything she has done for us and around the house. So grateful for her!